The Grocery Store People Who Annoy Me

The pay from the end of the conveyor belt person: where the credit card machine is at the end of the lane is a stand for check writing and change giving. In front of that is where you should stand. Not blocking the entire lane so that the person behind you, who is holding several items they'd like to put down, can place their items on the belt. You see me standing there. You even gave a smirk. And I resisted the urge to throw my ice cream at your face.

The check writer: I don't mind check writing if people would realize you can have several parts of a check finished before your total is said. The date. Your signature. The name of the store. If you have to use a check, can you at least be efficient about it?

The purse/wallet organizer: so you paid with cash? That's awesome. But do you really have to organize your change, shuffle the contents of your purse, and carefully place and fold your receipt all while holding up the line? No, you don't. You can step forward a bit and do these things.

The take up an entire aisle with your cart person: cart pushing should really require a permit. The rules of the road should apply. You drive on the right side of the aisle. Don't drive down the middle and then stand there looking at everything so that nobody can pass. I see this especially often in Walmart, which is the like the expressway of grocery stores. You wouldn't drive down the middle of the interstate and then stop to gawk at something, don't do it at Walmart.

The price checker: I can see asking about one item. I don't see asking about several. Also, if the cashier asks you how much something is because it isn't ringing up, give her a number. Even if you feel guilty guessing, just give a fair price for the item. Because if they're asking, they are willing to just key something in. If you say you don't know your incompetent bagger kid will have to go price check it. And we'll all be waiting 15 minutes for his return.

The kid screamer: I'm not talking about the kids here. I can handle a child's meltdown or two. Sometimes I feel like having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery. But the most annoying thing is a disgruntled parent who won't stop yelling at their kids when you can't exactly figure out what the kid is doing wrong. Nobody needs to hear you scream, "I'm going to beat your ass when we get home" in the middle of the store. It makes you look frightening.

The kiddie shopping car pusher: you know the ones I'm talking about. The CAR carts. Those should be BANNED. Nobody can see to push them. They don't turn corners well. And having your kid sticking out at the end of your cart while you dart in and out of aisles hardly seems safe.

The stand so close I'm worried you're trying to violate me in the check out lane: there is a bubble of personal space for everyone. Let's not violate that space. If I can feel you breathing, you're too close. If you can read the numbers on my credit card? You're REALLY too close.

The moody cashier: I know your job sucks. I know. And I feel your pain. But we're both stressed out. We can at least joke and get along during our moment of mutual misery. Don't make me hate you.