Google

Recent Google searches that have led to my blog:

Amy Poehler Underbite: I am an Amy Poehler fan. And my dog has an underbite. A very cute underbite if I may say so myself. But does Amy Poehler have an underbite? I'm not sure. I've never looked that close.

Picture of a Quite Lake: Hmm. A Quite lake? I'm not real sure what that is. I assume you meant QUIET lake. In which case, I'm glad I could help with your spelling. I don't have a picture of one though. I'm not a big fan of lakes, too dirty for my taste typically.

Life is Like Pie: Life is not like pie. At all. If life were like pie it would be gooey and delicious ALL THE TIME. And it's not. So I certainly beg to differ.

Things to make with limes: I like limes cut in half with a little salt. I also like margaritas. And key lime pie.

She talks to me online, but not in real life: Dude, that sucks. I talk to people in real life just fine, but hyperventilate over the proper way to word things in an email. So, obviously am no help.

Chattanooga: Ahh, Chattanooga. There is water. And mountains. And I'm assuming nice things to visit. But my family has no sense of adventure so I've never really stopped there. Except this one time at a rest area there where I got kicked out of the overlook area for carrying my dog. That kind of pissed me off.

Labor costs for a 2004 Chevy Aveo Timing Belt: Okay, uhh, let me find the receipt. Okay here it is....umm, it says------FUCKED. Yep, that's about how I remember it. Much easier than telling you the real price. In reality: about $400. Until you find out the timing belt break caused your engine valves to bend because an Aveo has an interference engine and then you'll be looking at around $1600 on top of the $400 you just paid. Moral of the story---READ THE EFFING MANUAL NEXT TIME.

Pointless stuff to do: START A BLOG. Or a Tumblr. Or Twitter.

Prolific quote: Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. -JFK

Five Fame Fuckers: My new list-- 1) Prince Harry 2) Matt Damon 3) Eric Dane 4) Rocco Dispirito 5) George Clooney

VRBO White Caps Sanibel #8: I wish we'd stayed there. Book it, you'll love it I'm sure.

I say up, he says down: I know, it sucks. But some people we are meant to clash that way with I suppose. My person is my Dad, so umm...I'm kind of just stuck with it.

Okay, those were a few. I hope they all visit again and read my insightful answers.

I'm just here to help.

I Love Tina Fey

It's the economy, stupid

You know what I never do?

Get pictures printed. Like ever. And for someone who takes such an insane amount I always find that a little odd. I have boxes of photos from the early 90s and a handful of everything from the last few years. But hey, I can send you a link to my Flickr account!

So anyways, my point is, I don't print pictures often. But I can't resist when someone is offering to send me 50 for FREE and not charge shipping!

Behold: http://www.shutterfly.com/landing/viewSignin.sfly?fid=6a6a5734ebd8a0ad

Create a Shutterfly account, ANOTHER one if you already have one. Upload some photos and pick out 50 to get printed. They'll ship them for free and not charge a penny.

And next time you see me ask me to show you some recent pictures, I'll actually have copies of some.

Tonight is the first Presidential Debate. I hope you are all being good citizens and staying home tonight to watch. Or getting together with friends to watch. Or something. Because who says debate watching can't be fun? Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Although given the criteria, you might want to go ahead out to stock up on a lot of alcohol now.

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Personal news: I'm doing fine. I'm nervous and anxious about a dozen things going on in life right now. But since that's normal I figure I'm doing okay.

My Dad wanted to sell one of his trucks and the boat he never uses so I introduced him to Craigslist today. He's still talking about how easy it was to list them. I'm trying to do my part to introduce him to the internet. Although it might be back firing since he now wants me to 'pull up that ebay thing' all the time for him. Too cute.

Jon in 3 efforts still has zero deer or turkey. But I've heard rumors they are going out this evening. At this rate I'm thinking of gluing some feathers to a Butterball and letting him shoot it in the backyard. He might not appreciate that idea though.

Have a wonderful weekend and don't get too wasted watching the debate tonight. Or get too wasted, we'll blame it on the economy.

Jesus Train

Okay, housekeeping items first.

To the three of you who left a comment on my Hillary post, thank you. I want you all to know if you ever get to meet one of your greatest inspirations/admirations/general-think-of-highly people in life I will ignore party politics and opinions to leave you a comment about how awesome that is and I'm happy you got to do it. Which generally means if you decide your life's ambition is meet George W. Bush or Satan, both of whom I'm personally opposed to, I would still tell you how AWESOME that is. And I'd leave a bunch of exclamation marks.

Now, on to other things.

My new neighbor, to replace old neighbor I hated, is also a preacher. Apparently a preacher that does well for himself as they are renting the house next door until their new McMansion is finished. In all fairness, I have not met them yet so I have no real reason to dislike them. I'm sure they are nice people.

Probably. I guess.

What I still don't understand. And perhaps someone reading can help me with this. How do preachers these days become so FILTHY STINKIN' RICH?

Ministers of God, becoming rich off of the word of God?

I know I'm not the authority on all things Jesus. I'm willing to admit to this much. But what little I do know makes me uncomfortable about preachers getting rich off of his name. That churches become mini business corporations, mini TAX EXEMPT business corporations. That members of these churches scrape up money to give to the church so that their preacher can buy two 42 inch flat screen televisions, all new stainless steel appliances, brand new gas guzzling vehicles and several trips a year to the beach.

Off of Jesus!

Were the Apostles rich? I don't really know.

What I do know is through living next door to these men of God and seeing their other men of God friends visit with their new golf clubs and their Tiger Woods' outfits I've started to wonder if I missed the bus. Perhap I should have hopped aboard the Jesus train and rode it all the way to the front door of my new McMansion.

I just don't get it. Maybe I'm too old school to even try. But prosperity gospel confuses me.

Stump Speech

Here are a couple of clips that I got of Hillary's speech. They aren't the most thrilling clips in the world, I managed to not get any of the funny stuff she said. But oh well. The point is, I was there, she was there, still kind of amazing to me.


Hillary Clinton Clip #1 from apsies on Vimeo.


Hillary Clinton Clip #2 from apsies on Vimeo.

Democrats are Donkeys, Donkeys are Asses, There is a Connection in This Story

I could wax poetic for a few paragraphs, tell some big elaborate story, only to eventually get to what I really want to tell you . But I won't. I'll just come out and say it: Hillary Clinton has a great ass.

It's true. At one point my mother looked and me and said, 'I'm 14 years younger than she is but I wish my ass looked that good.'

I think it can be said that the camera does add 15 pounds to a person. And the pantsuits might be a little deceiving. Because Hillary Clinton is the tiniest, most petite thing in real life. And a lot of things are said about her that I don't think are true. Like in the immortal words of Amy Poehler, 'shrew, harpie, flurge and cankles.' But I'm here to tell you, my mother and I walked away knowing why Bill Clinton begged for forgiveness, she's way hotter that that Monica lady ever thought about being.

And I don't think it's sexist to say these things. I spent days drooling over how sexy Bill Clinton was back in April. Okay, it's just the truth. And one of those indelible things you think of when meeting famous people. They aren't as tall or short as you thought they were, they have bad hair. You know?

Hillary is adorable. She is also just as bit as intelligent as you'd think. She's a fantastic speaker. Maybe not Bill or Barack caliber, but the crowd LOVED her. Hillary Clinton is totally personable and charismatic.

Trust me, I would know:



The details:

• I almost didn't go. But at the last minute was pushed out the door by my family, with the assistance of my travel partner...my Mom.
• We arrived at 12:45, we left at 3:45, we stood on our feet in an overcrowded room with no water for all that time in between. That alone certifies my Clinton Groupie Official Membership.
• She still wasn't as late as Bill was back in April.
• I forgive her for the lateness though. There are lots of hands to shake.
• As I said, she's tiny. Little waist, little hands. Little. Despite the scaling in that photo above. Just trust me on this.
• Bruce Lunsford is also WAY short.
• We stood to the left of the stage, one row of people back, but as Hillary began working the crowd the lady in front of me MOVED, in a strategic TWIST OF FATE, and that's how I ended up with a prime picture taking spot.
• She signed my book with 'Hillary Rodham Clinton', the stuff she signed before my book were only signed with 'Hillary'. I feel special.
• She also shook our hands and thanked us for our support when we told her what a fan we were.
• Secret Service never fails to entertain me. She was surrounded by like 6 of them. But they scanned each person with their supersonic eyeballs before she could reach us.
• The Democratic Party is alive and well in Kentucky. Excitement levels were good.
• All the Hillary supporters I met HATE Sarah Palin. At one point a guy started a chant, 'Sarah's a failin' and McCain can't'.
• She repeated 'No Way, No How, No McCain, No Palin'.
  
• Mentioned Barack and Joe SEVERAL times, and how we needed Barack in the White House.
• Governor Beshear spoke, as well as Kathy Stein, and former governor John Y. Brown Jr. was there with former wife, they are back together I think (still not sure of that situation) Phyllis George.

#77: See Hillary Clinton in Person


Edited to add: Kathy Stein and Governor Beshear fist bumped in an homage to Barack Obama as Gov. Beshear was leaving the stage. Which was, admittedly, adorkably cute.

Clinton-ite Part Three of Three Parts

So this one time I met Bill Clinton. You all remember that? Here's a link in case you forgot: http://apsies.blogspot.com/2008/03/off-deep-end.html and here: http://apsies.blogspot.com/2008/03/accomplished.html

And then, not long after I met Chelsea Clinton. As evidenced here: http://apsies.blogspot.com/2008/04/photo-of-day-full-circle-moment-edition.html

But in my quest to become a full on Clinton groupie I fell just short. I didn't get to meet/see/take-a-far-away photo of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Until.

SATURDAY.

Last night I was in the middle of making my 50 phone calls to Indiana on behalf of the Obama Campaign when I noticed I had a call coming through from the Kentucky Democratic Party.

Now, I should preface this by saying I accidentally ended up with a list of people to call in Indiana by accidentally clicking something on the Obama website I didn't intend to. And I really did not want to be calling these people. Because I'm a bit awkward sometimes, you know?

But there would be nobody else to call them. And suddenly the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I sucked it up, and I began to call. Call, after call, I began to enjoy myself (in my own awkward kind of way). It's sort of (kinda if you squint real hard) fun to talk to voters.

And that's when I got the call from the Democratic Party, the Bruce Lunsford for Senate campaign to be precise. They asked and I agreed to take on 40 calls for them.

And that is when it happened.

The heavens opened up and shined down upon me. The person on the other line said, 'oh by the way, Hillary Clinton will be in Kentucky Saturday for a couple of rallies, would you be interested in attending?'

Umm. Hmm. Let me check my schedule.

YEAH. Duh.

So that's how it happened. That's how tentatively I will be at the Kentucky Horse Park on Saturday fulfilling my Clinton-ite Part Three of Three Parts Dream.

I'm so freaking excited.

FYI

IMDB now offers a selection of movies and tv shows, full length viewing, on their website FOR FREE.

You all know me, I'm ALL about the free.

I hope this counts as the Christmas present you are expecting from me.

http://www.imdb.com/features/video/

Really, I put so much thought into this gift.

Trust.

P.S. My Dad and brother are going hunting this weekend for deer and/or turkey. Which is weird. My Dad hasn't hunted deer in nearly 20 years. Jon has only ever hunted squirrel. But, as mentioned, Jon is into archery now. He would very much like to compete with the girl next door (who is also hunting this weekend with her Dad) and try and bag a deer before her.

Yes, he is competitive.

So, they are hunting.

Which means I'm taking my mother antiquing and greenhouse/nursery browsing. I'm so excited. Because I don't think you are ever too old to enjoy stealing time with your mother from your sibling.

P.P.S. Anyone got a good wild turkey recipe? I'm NOT eating deer.

The one which is pointless

Despite the underbite, Jill is adorable.



Most days she can be found chasing sunspots around the house.


Seriously though. So smoosh.


In other news, Jon had a little 'bow' incident this evening. He and his friend from next door like to shoot their bows together. Jon had already shot a few times today and was, by his own admission, a little tired and a little lax. A nice SMACK later and he's left icing this spot on his arm. I imagine it will be a nasty little bruise tomorrow.

But ever the man that he is he didn't cry in front of the girl. Despite her insistence that it must have hurt enough to do so.


Boys....

My first class of the day is taught by a professor who commutes back and forth from the Louisville area each Tuesday and Thursday. I should have have considered she might not be there today and gambled on sleeping in a little later.

Alas, I did not. A decision I'm still cursing 12 hours later.

Lately my biggest dream is to curl up in my bed and nap for several hours. Yet, every day I think of other stuff to do rather than nap.

Does anyone else have this problem? I want so much to be a napper, but the truth is, when it comes down to it they always seem like such a waste of time to me.

I know. I have such problems. ;)

Live from New York...

“In conclusion, I invite the media to grow a pair. And if you can’t, I will lend you mine.”
— Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton on SNL

Bridge to Nowhere

I'm not apologizing, y'all know you're reading a Liberal blog.

Jonathan N. Cappello

I sat in my English class this morning, after passing the lawn full of flags to represent those lost 7 years ago and reflected. It seems almost all of my September 11th memories center around school. This morning I thought about how different this teacher was from Mrs. Stewart. Kari Stewart will forever remind me of September 11th, if you read this Mrs. Stewart, I'm sorry about that.

But their faces, Mrs. Stewart and Mrs. Neal as they struggled to find a radio station that would offer reception are always with me on these September mornings, year after year. The voice of Dan Rather somehow begins to narrate my memories. His voice muddles the confusion, the furrowed brows and the stunning shock of all of those images that day. The burning building, the second plane, the ash, the debris, the collapse. If I let myself I can still cry just like that morning.

The first anniversary I spent failing my drivers exam. Six years later I claim to be no better at parallel parking. Nor any worse at test taking. But each anniversary seems oddly the same. Like that first one, like it was just last year. The memories come just as brilliantly. Like that technicolor scene from "The Wizard of Oz". Except none of us are Dorothy and nobody gets to go back home to Kansas. This is our reality now. The post 9/11 world is an oddly vulnerable place. And I suspect no election year for many to come will not be shaped in someway by the events of that Tuesday morning.

In the days and weeks and months following September 11th we swore we wouldn't forget. We wore our red white and blue, hung our flags from our front porches and had the biggest burst of patriotism this country has seen since WWII. But 7 years is a long time.

I can honestly say I don't think of 9/11 very often. If, at all. It's there of course, in the back of my mind. Still sad, still painful, but not constant.

But, for those who lost someone that day I would imagine it's always there. Just like there are moments in life when I'm doing something random like shopping for groceries and I hear my grandma's voice. I can't imagine spending the anniversary of her death, watching her die again. Year after year. And yet, for the families that is essentially what 9/11 could be. How utterly painful?

I pulled a name from the list of those killed in the World Trade Center that morning. Initially I searched for an April, but there were none. So I searched down the list and found the youngest Jonathan who died that day.

Jonathan Cappello, 23 from Garden City, New York was working on the 105th floor of World Trade Center One as an international bonds trader when it imploded. Jonathan was the youngest of three brothers, a precocious child according do his mother, he idolized his older siblings. His mother said, "Jonathan loved, loved life, from the time they handed him to me on September 29, he went to bed happy. He woke up happy. And everything was happy in between."

He wasn't sure what he wanted to do after college, much like myself, but 3 months prior to 9/11 he received an offer to work for Cantor Fitzgerald. He took it.

For the week following that Tuesday morning, his parents kept the hope that perhaps he would be found alive in the rubble. Neither he, nor his body were ever recovered. His mother said she found peace with that after feeling like her son has visited her, telling her, "Mom, it's enough. I'm here, but I'm whole. I came with my body."

Jonathan's mother called him, Jonny, occasionally just as I do my own brother, she said of their last conversation, "The last thing I said to him? And the last thing he said to me, what we say to each other everyday, every night for 23 years, I go, "I love you Jonny B." And he said, "I love you pumpkin. You're my woman." That's the last thing I said. It was 11:00 at night."

I have my Jonny today. The Cappello family does not. But I hope that somewhere, somehow, they can find solace in the fact that today someone besides themselves is remembering their Jonny. And the brilliant love he brought to his family for his short time on earth. I know, there is something about a Jonny that is so bright, so loving, so full of intense passion for living. What a light they must have lost.

Jonathan N. Capello, 23, Garden City, New York.

(all info via this interview) (post idea via Project 2,996)

Photo of the Day (Update my Life Edition)

Jon's 'I'm growing out my hair project' is finally out of that awkward growing out stage and kind of cute. He was a curly headed 3 year old, 10 years later...it's back.



The yard in front of the house was dug up today for a new water line. I'm already tired of the heavy machinery running. But the pile of rock and dirt is impressive.



My quilt blocks went from this:



To this:



And finally, when will cats ever learn they aren't as small as they think they are?



I'm not sure. But the hissing and biting that occurred while trying to free her from this mess will forever haunt my dreams.

McFunkville

So I'm sick.

I guess it's true that when you are super stressed for any given amount of time your immune system becomes vulnerable to every snotty five year old you encounter at the grocery store.

Ahh. Such is life.

I'm laying here tonight, having fully digested the craptasticness that is the new 90210 and waiting on my new prescription strength cough syrup to kick in. It's supposed to knock my ass to the floor, and leave me snoring in no time.

Ha. Supposed to. Clearly, it's not doing its job.

So let's see. What is new since the last time we talked?

Hmm. Not much.

Since last time I did a 'things I'm obsessed with list', this time I'll do a 'things I hate list'. Because I generally don't like lots of things. But that is only heightened when I'm hopped up on cough syrup.

• Facebook. I hate Facebook. I hate reading about the lives of people I really didn't even like in high school. I'm tired of looking at pictures of people's: 1) babies 2) drunken nights out 3) trips I wish I were going on. And I hate the new interface. HATE. I've hovered over the delete button several times, but I've yet to actually do it.
• 
  
• People who literally 6 months ago told me a woman should never be president, but who now believe Sarah Palin is the second coming of Jesus. Seriously people, it's either FOR or AGAINST. Perhaps I'd appreciate your view a little better if you weren't such a flip flopper.
• 
  
• Hurricanes. I'm tired of hearing about hurricanes. I'm tired of Anderson Cooper reporting on hurricanes. I'm tired of flipping through channels and hearing about more hurricanes. It's election time, Cable News Networks, quit giving me reasons to be glad I don't live in Florida.
• 
  
• And finally: being sick, having the blahs, not wanting to blog. I hate that. I hope I return to 'normal' soon. For now, I'm signing off from McFunkville.
  

Cat Scratch Fever

It is so hard to find the motivation to blog lately. Between the dropping my basket over school stuff, and then the whole political scene right now I spend most of my time watching CNN, perusing the internet for political stories, or reading something for some boring class.

But I was doing so good with the blogging and writing down the stuff going on in my life that I almost feel bad for not updating! Something about that is probably not healthy. ;)

So what have I been up? Good question.

As I said, watching lots of CNN. Last night Jon piled on my bed with 2 of the 3 dogs, my Mom kicked her feet up nearby and we watched John McCain's nomination speech. But before that we warmed up with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. That was lots of fun.

I finished my quilt squares! Now I just have to quilt the whole thing. Which umm...I'm thinking is going to be the hard part since I have no idea how to do it. I'll let you know how that goes.

Last night I dreamed about my dead grandmother. As in, every so often we had to un-thaw her and she'd come back to life for a little while. What?! Yeah, I don't know what is up with that. I blame it on late night Republican politics coupled with French Onion Sunchips...that'll do weird stuff to your head. ;)

Did you know I still don't have a car? Nope, keep putting off going to find one. I hate car shopping. And the price of little cars has rose dramatically since the last time we bought one! Omg. When we bought my Aveo, it was a year old with really low miles on it and we got it for $8,900. If I tried to buy a year old Aveo now with low miles it would cost me $10,988 or $11,950.

So I'm indecisive about what I want and unsure of which direction to go in. I'm sure I'll decide something soon though.

Things I'm currently obsessed with include:

The LL Bean catalog. I'm not kidding when I say I want everything in it.

Fall Weather. I wouldn't mind a bit of a chilly spell.

Bollywood movies. Which oddly enough my library has a plethora of. Weird.

And kittens. I know there are enough animals around here. But every time I go to Feeder's Supply there is a cage full of kittens. And every time their adoption fee is marked down to $55 and the frugal part of me goes, '$55 for a cat thats already fixed and has all of its shots is a DEAL'. And every time at the very moment, when I'm this close to asking someone for paperwork to fill out...my Dad calls and says 'don't even think about it'. And he doesn't even know I'm thinking about it, he just knows where I am and that it's GOING TO HAPPEN.

So yeah, somebody adopt a kitten and then let me come cuddle it. Okay? Thanks.

Personal Politics

When my brother was 5 years old I called him my little Alex P. Keaton. I know I've shared this story before, but it begs repeating. He was quite the young Republican and it DROVE ME BATTY. His little blonde freckled self would walk around taunting his big sister with his love of George W. Bush. I was younger, less mature about the nature of 5 year olds, but my Mom would reassure me. Don't egg him on she'd say, he just knows it bothers you. Eventually I gave up. Like my Mom told me to. My Jon was a little Alex P. Keaton. I'd accepted it.

Years passed, elections came and went. And throughout Gore, and Kerry my little brother showed little interest in politics. I put little thought into his disinterest. At least he wasn't walking around like a miniature Bush-o-phile anymore. Pick your battles, you know?

But something happened during this past primary season. A woman named Hillary and a man named Barack decided to run for President. A woman who is married to an actual President, a man with a funny name and a message of hope. I could see a change. I could see the wheels of motion that had affected me at the same age begin to turn in my brother's head.

He watched the debates. He asked about policy. About the issues. He began to inform himself through newspapers and 24 hour media sources. This Alex P. Keaton began to shed his Reagan Democrat clothes and shift into a young George Stephanopoulos.

It is easy to assume my parents (lifelong Democrats they are) would have influenced our views on politics. But trust me when I say they have not. My father couldn't care less what political party anyone belongs to, so long as you can ignore the reactionary tic he still has whenever anyone mentions the words 'Reagan' and 'union' in his presence. My mother might care, but she'd never admit it out loud.

My brother's closest friends are the girls who live next door to us. They have been raised to think a vote for the Democratic Party is a signed, sealed and delivered invitation to Hell. I'm not kidding. So it came as no surprise to my brother when they mentioned they want McCain to win in November. Nor was it a surprise when they asked him who he would vote for if he could.

And this is the moment that made putting up with my 5 year old Alex P. Keaton all worth it. Proud, not that he is is a Democrat, but that he is making informed decisions all for himself at the ripe old age of 13. Proud that in moments like these, he reminds me of myself.

Jon turned to the oldest girl, as they lobbed a volleyball back and forth over an old clothesline, and repeated a line from Barack Obama's New Hampshire Concession Speech:

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the
destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

He got the line from watching this video on YouTube, a video I'm sure everyone has seen at this point.

The youth of this country often gets a bad rap. But sometimes, trust me, you can be so surprised by their knowledge, their thirst for the future, their hope. And it's those moments that send chills up your spine and lift the hairs on the back of your neck.

The hope of a nation in the face of a 13 year old.

Yes we can.