Monday, November 10, 2008

Movin' On Up to the Eastside

Hey, who wants to talk about my neighbors?

*Pick me, pick me!*

Alright so last I left off on the neighbor story I recall telling you all about the new people renting the house next door. The preacher who did live there moved on from his MW church to a mega church in Louisville, where he and his menagerie of children are now living near campus. Anyways, the new couple he found through said megachurch had sold their house and needed a rental until the one they are building is finished. how they are here.

So, I mentioned they are loaded.

Well let me tell you this. I simply did not emphasize that enough. Let me clarify:

They are LOADED, LOADED, LOADED. Like building a $600,000 home in a former Home-o-rama subdivision loaded.

Now the whole thing was odd to me from the get go. And since I'm both an expert spyer and google-er I was determined to get to the bottom of things. Say what you will about me, but I'm nothing if not determined.

First I sent in the operatives:

Sanibel 08 Day Two--Morning 027

The one on the left talks a lot and the one on the right is cute. And the same age as the new neighbor's children. So, you know...perfect.

Initial contact with new neighbors was sketchy. Despite murmers that the new couple were building a very large house I was somewhat dumbfounded when Operative #1 (the talkative one) reported back that according to Neighbor Wife, Neighbor Husband was a youth pastor.

Now, my cousin Tommy got himself a seminary school education a few years back. And surprise, surprise, he works as a youth minister at a fairly large sized Christian church nearby. While he provides for his family and they certainly do not do without by any means, they could not afford such an expensive home.

So I had my doubts. Neighbor Husband: Youth pastor or Colombian Drug Lord masquerading as Youth Pastor?

Really, was all in the air at this point.

The next phase of the mission was all up to Operative #2 (the cute and appropriately aged one). His goal: integrate seamlessly into Neighbor Kids' circle.

Reports flooded in about the neighbor kids. But it took several weeks to pin down an exact last name. 2 weekends ago I became fairly confident in both pronunciation and spelling of their last name.

Which is how I found not just their names, but that Neighbor Husband is a lot more than a modest youth pastor. Maybe he started out as one. Perhaps that's how he broke into the biz. But a simple google search led me to a TON of info about Neighbor Husband. Who happens to be a high ranking bigwig in the K*Y*B*A*P*T. something or other.

And then I nailed the subdivision down through two happenings: 1) we somehow ended up behind their car one evening on the way home from the store and saw them turning into it and 2) Operative #2 reported back that Neighbor Kids has talked about that specific neighborhood and the details of the house they are going to be living in.

With details like that is was easy to pinpoint the price point of the house.

And once I did that my jaw dropped to the floor, where it's been for the last several days.

Now I grew up in a VERY modest tract home filled neighborhood. Every house was the same, all the parents did the same things: factories, construction....McDonalds. You get the gist. Where I live now? A bit bigger, the houses are all different, BUT STILL MODEST. So this is new, this living next to well off people thing.

But alas, the conclusion is still the same as it was weeks ago: I should have gone to seminary school.


(this entire post was tongue in cheek, please don't be offended by my obvious objectification of A) the rich and B) the religious. I know not all preachers are rich and not all rich people are preachers. I also know I've never felt any calling to attend seminary school. Oh well.)

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