Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Fear

I had a mini-breakdown with my mom tonight, finally releasing all sorts of emotions that I've been bottling inside for the last few months. I confessed a lot of my problems and realized that every single of them comes down to fear. I'm petrified right now in so many ways.
  • I fear defaulting on my student loans.
  • I fear never being able to move out and make it on my own.
  • I fear I won't be able to find a job.
  • I fear finding a job and hating it.
  • I fear I'll never figure out exactly what it is I'm supposed to be doing.
  • I fear I'll get stuck doing something that has no meaning whatsoever. (just a job, not a career that gives me something in return besides money)
If you're the praying sort and you're reading this could you pray that I somehow find a way to stop being so scared?


Hannah said...

I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in those fears at all. I graduated from college this past May (meaning May of 2010), and I'm still living with my parents and wishing every single day that I could just manage to get a job and move out already. Not only that, but I'm constantly questioning what the next step in my life should be (part of me wants to keep applying for a full-time job, while another part of me wants to go on to graduate school so that I can pursue a Master's in Library Science), and, more often than not, I just feel completely confused and scared about this phase of my life.

So, like I said, you're definitely not alone in feeling this way, and I'll most definitely be praying for your fears to go away. Feel free to email me if you ever want to talk. My email address is

Hannah said...
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April said...

Thanks so much for your comment, Hannah. It means a lot to hear others are going through the same things.