Free

I feel confident that the worst of winter is now behind us. Every 15 day forecast I've found on the internet is predicting 50 and 60 degree weather by the first week of March. I'm super thrilled with this. And refuse to acknowledge that it might not happen. Or that 22 years ago it was snowing the day I was born.

I heard birds outside of my window this morning. What a beautiful sound. Although the poor things must be cold. I kind of wanted to invite them in for hot chocolate or something. In addition to the little song birds there were also geese all over the field behind our house. I hated to tell them they may have returned a little too early from the deep south.

Last week my cousin Sandy called me out of the blue. Wanted the recipe for my mom's famous salsa because she was at the grocery and craving it. I thought we'd never talk again because of what happened with my dad and her mom and our grandmother situation. But there she was on the phone again like nothing had happened. My mom called her a couple of days ago to get info on how best to treat Jon's cold (she works in a family practice) and it was again...as though nothing had happened.

This has been such a weight off of my chest. I talked to my grandmother every few months, more often if I remembered but not as much as I should have. I talked to my aunt maybe once a year. But my cousin was a constant staple in my life. Her son is one of my brother's best buds, and they were always showing up at our house unannounced. And since we talked again and I have a renewed feeling about this situation I've finally stopped having those dreams about people or things that should be dead but aren't.

It's such a weight off of my mind. For the first time in a month my drives to Lexington haven't been overpowered by my brain's ability over analyze everything that went on in January. I feel at peace, and that's a good place to be.

So now that all that is over I've just been waiting on winter to be over. I'm desiring to be outdoors, to take gig after gig of pictures, or go for a drive with no intent on arriving anywhere in particular. And to finally be able to express how free I feel.