A few days ago my longest running friend and I had a particular war of words that has, I'm afraid, torn apart our friendship into a thousand tiny pieces that can never be mended. Arguing would have been nothing new to us, she was always the friend I could have a good knock down with and yet somehow we would go on afterwards, just being us. But this was more than that.
This was realizing the person you thought you knew is no longer, in fact, that person. Because I live life striving for an element of tolerance and love in my world view, I find myself not wanting to associate with those who cannot at least respect those who are 'different'. And racism and bigotry are not words I want to be around.
So it's over. And it pains me to think. But I've been too hurt by the words and opinions to go back now.
A few days prior to the war of words I got a phone call about an interview for a Public Relations Internship I'd applied for. I was shocked, flabbergasted, amazed. A good general smattering of words but mostly thankful for the opportunity to even be interviewed. It had taken so long from the date I'd applied to the date I was called that frankly, I'd given up hope. And while I'm not counting on getting the internship, from what I've heard of the interview process (2-3 hours of stuff including writing prompts, grammar tests, etc.) it should be a good learning experience at the very least.
I finally feel like I might be on the path to finding direction in my life. Something that has been bothering me for so long.
But at the same time I'm mourning the loss of a friendship over something so surprising and uncomfortable. Racism, injustice and bigotry exist in this world, I'm not naive enough to think otherwise. But I suppose it hurts a bit more when you find out it's lurking right under your own nose.
In the iconic words of John Lennon:
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
I still have hope.